Kawasan Falls: Google Maps Tried to Kill Me

There are moments while traveling when you begin questioning whether technology has actually improved our lives.

This was one of those moments.

I wanted to visit Kawasan Falls, the ridiculously turquoise waterfall hiding in the jungle near Moalboal on the Philippine island of Cebu.

Simple enough.

According to Google Maps, it was roughly a two-hour motorbike ride from where I was staying.

Perfect.

Helmet on. Camera packed. Destination entered.

LET THE ALGORITHM DECIDE MY FATE.

What could possibly go wrong?

Quite a fucking lot, apparently.

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DESTINATION: Kawasan Falls

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GOOGLE MAPS HAS ENTERED ADVENTURE MODE

I have developed a complicated relationship with Google Maps while traveling.

Most days, it’s an incredibly useful navigation tool.

Other days, it apparently gets bored and decides: “Fuck it. Let’s see if Sean survives this.”

Kawasan Falls was one of those days.

I spent roughly two hours riding south through Cebu toward Badian and Moalboal, expecting the usual Southeast Asian motorbike adventure involving traffic, questionable passing maneuvers, dogs sleeping in the road and the occasional vehicle coming toward me with absolutely no concern for traditional interpretations of lane ownership.

Everything was going reasonably well.

Then Google Maps told me to turn.

So I turned.

The road got smaller.

Then steeper.

Then considerably more jungle’ish.

This should have been my first clue.

Google Maps continued confidently directing me higher into the mountains, because apparently the most efficient route to a waterfall at the bottom of a river valley is to climb the fucking mountain next to it.

Seems reasonable.

Up I went.

And up.

And up.

Eventually, I’m riding through increasingly remote jungle wondering why one of the most popular waterfalls near Moalboal apparently requires an expedition normally associated with locating a lost Japanese soldier.

But the little blue line said keep going.

And apparently I trust tiny blue lines with my life.

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THE GIANT FUCKING SIGN I COMPLETELY MISSED

Here’s the embarrassing part.

Getting to Kawasan Falls isn’t particularly difficult.

There are signs.

Big signs.

Signs specifically designed for idiots riding motorbikes who might otherwise miss the entrance.

Idiots like me.

Had I been paying slightly more attention to the actual physical world around me instead of blindly obeying the glowing rectangle attached to my handlebars, I would have noticed the GIANT FUCKING SIGN telling me exactly where to turn for Kawasan Falls.

I didn’t.

Google Maps had spoken.

And thus I was now somewhere unnecessarily high in the Cebu jungle.

Eventually, even I had to admit something seemed suspicious.

There was no waterfall.

There were no tourists.

There was no parking area.

There was increasingly little evidence that anyone had ever asked Google Maps to take them here intentionally.

So I turned around, rode all the way back down the mountain and eventually discovered the enormous sign I’d somehow missed earlier.

Sigh.

Another flawless execution of international travel logistics.

This wasn’t even my last encounter with Google Maps: Adventure Mode. Years later, it would pull almost exactly the same shit while I was trying to find Cikaracak Waterfall in Indonesia.

Apparently waterfalls confuse satellites.

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KAWASAN FALLS: NOW WITH 100% LESS MOUNTAIN

Once you actually arrive at the correct entrance, getting to Kawasan Falls becomes considerably less stupid.

The falls are near Badian, just south of Moalboal, making them one of the most popular falls near Moalboal and an easy addition to a trip through southern Cebu.

You don’t teleport directly from the road into tropical paradise, though.

There’s still some walking involved.

The trail follows the river roughly 1.5 kilometers through dense tropical vegetation toward the waterfalls.

And unlike my completely unnecessary motorcycle expedition into the mountains, this part of the journey is actually enjoyable.

The trail winds beneath thick jungle canopy while the river follows alongside you, occasionally revealing increasingly suspicious shades of blue.

Not Photoshop blue.

Not Instagram saturation-slider blue.

Holy-shit-is-that-water-actually-that-color blue.

Yes.

Yes, it is.

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OH. THAT’S WHY EVERYONE COMES HERE.

Eventually, the jungle opens and Kawasan Falls appears.

And suddenly the ridiculous journey makes sense.

Water pours over limestone cliffs into enormous turquoise pools surrounded by dense green jungle.

It’s one of those places where the photographs look slightly fake even when you’ve barely edited them.

The main waterfall drops into a huge swimming area while additional cascades and pools continue through the surrounding jungle, creating the tiered waterfall system that makes Kawasan considerably more interesting than the standard water-falls-off-cliff, tourists-take-picture, everyone-goes-home experience.

I’ve chased waterfalls all over Southeast Asia.

Some require actual suffering, like Tumpak Sewu in East Java, where reaching the bottom involves slippery trails, ladders and enough physical effort to make you reconsider whether photographs are really necessary.

Kawasan is considerably more civilized.

Once you find the fucking entrance.

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HOLY SHIT THAT WATER IS COLD

Naturally, when confronted with a giant turquoise swimming hole in the middle of a tropical Philippine jungle, there is only one logical response.

Get in.

The Philippines is hot.

Cebu is hot.

The jungle is hot.

I had just spent hours sitting on a motorbike becoming intimately familiar with tropical humidity.

That water looked incredible.

So I jumped in.

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

Cold.

Not refreshing.

Not pleasantly cool.

Not “ooooh, that’s nice after a long motorcycle ride.”

COLD.

The kind of cold where parts of your body briefly shrivel up.

Apparently all those gorgeous turquoise pools are fed by mountain water that has absolutely no interest in matching the ambient tropical temperature.

You enter expecting a refreshing jungle swim.

Your nipples immediately attempt to evacuate your body.

But after the initial neurological reboot, it’s fantastic.

The water is ridiculously clear. Jungle surrounds you. Waterfalls crash into the pools nearby. And after spending half the day accidentally exploring random Cebu mountains, floating around Kawasan Falls feels pretty damn rewarding.

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YOU CAN ALSO THROW YOURSELF OFF THINGS

Kawasan Falls isn’t just somewhere to swim and take Kawasan Falls photos for the inevitable social-media evidence that you successfully found the place.

The area has become famous for canyoneering and adventure tours, particularly around Badian.

Those trips involve working your way downstream through the canyon by swimming, scrambling across rocks and jumping from cliffs into pools.

Which sounds spectacular.

And also like exactly the kind of activity where someone inevitably says:

“It’s totally safe.”

Immediately before asking you to jump off a rock.

If that’s your thing, Kawasan is basically nature’s water park.

No lazy river.

No lifeguard chair.

Considerably more opportunities to question your decision-making.

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KAWASAN FALLS OR MOALBOAL FALLS?

One useful clarification if you’re searching for Moalboal falls, falls in Moalboal, or Moalboal waterfalls and Google keeps throwing Kawasan Falls at you: Kawasan Falls isn’t actually in Moalboal.

It’s near Badian, south of Moalboal.

Moalboal is simply the major tourist base many travelers use for exploring this part of Cebu, so Kawasan frequently gets lumped into searches for waterfalls around Moalboal.

And frankly, staying around Moalboal makes sense.

You’ve got diving, snorkeling, the famous sardine run and easy access to other adventures throughout southern Cebu.

Continue farther south and things get even more interesting.

I went swimming with whale sharks in Oslob, because apparently voluntarily entering the ocean next to a fish the size of a bus seemed reasonable.

Nearby Sumilon Island offers the exact opposite experience: white sand, warm tropical water and considerably less involuntary genital retraction.

And if you’re continuing through the Philippines, Bohol adds the bizarre Chocolate Hills and those tiny bug-eyed Philippine tarsiers to the list of things worth pointing a camera at.

There’s a lot packed into this corner of the Philippines.

Just occasionally ignore Google Maps.